Friday, 11 November 2011

Good News in the Morning

This has been a time of intense peaks and troughs for us.

After months of pain from a trapped nerve 
hubby had a date for the necessary neurosurgery 
week before last.
A matter of only hours after the date was given him
he had a phone call to say that due to an " anomaly" 
on one of his test, surgery could not go ahead,
and an appointment with an anaesthetist was made
to decide how to go on from there.

We were mystified, 
as hubby's general health has always been excellent.

It turned out that the anaesthetist was mystified too.
He looked at results,
read outs,
and traces,
and examined hubby.
He consulted with others anaesthetists.

The verdict was there was nothing to indicate any reason why surgery could not have gone ahead.
Relief, but  "tis'mystery all!"

Within the hour of returning home
hubby has a new operation date
and we are in business again.

The next day I sat in the same room as I had with hubby 
to hear the anaesthetist's verdict on him,
to hear another anaesthetist go over the plans for my own forthcoming surgery by epidural. 

He was very intent I should have the full picture,
with timings and stages of preparation,
and even showed me the size of epidural needle 
and what emergency measures would be in place at each stage.

That's what you get for throwing a curve ball in the recovery room as I did back in May.

If it's possible to come away reassured and scared stiff
at one and the same time, 
I did.
 Then yesterday I left hubby at the hospital to have his surgery,
and staggered home exhausted from
the "will they won't they" game that always
seems to be part of the wait. 
  If there is an emergency somewhere along the line,
then staff and theatre priorities may mean you go home 
without your operation being performed.

I waited all day for news and at last got the green light 
that I could go visit when he got back from theatre 
at about 7.30 p.m.,exactly 12 hours after he was admitted. 
Thankfully my son-in-law drove me and my daughterto the hospital 
because I was beginning to realise how far my own convalescence from that op. back in May still had to go.
I was really running out of steam by the time I spied him 
propped up in his hospital bay.
I needn't go into details but our half hour or so on the ward 
with him was not an easy one,
and we left quite upset.

The ward sister rang me some time after we got home
and our conversation did nothing to reassure us
accept that we knew from it the staff 
were caring and dedicated folk.
He seemed in good hands.
After the family left I sat and focused on the safe hands 
I return to again and again, 
and weary as I was decided to settle my fuddled brain 
by praying the evening office set for the day.

I followed Compline on-line, 
and was brought up short by the words of Psalm 143,
"Let me hear good news in the morning,
for I trust in you."
So exactly my thoughts. 

  I don't recognise the translation 
of David's prayer, 
which sounds more familiar to me as ,
"Show me your loving kindness in the morning, ..."
but undeniably these words are what my heart longs for.
Good news from the hospital.

I spent a restless night, and made a grab for the bedside phone almost as soon as it began to ring this morning.

I could not believe that the voice at the other end was hubby's.

I took a few minutes to take in all he said.

The good news I asked for the night before took me by surprise.
How can things have changed so quickly!

As soon as he was off the line I rang our daughter 
who was equally incredulous,
and equally as relieved.

Though there is the inevitable journey of healing 
to be gone through, he has come through this part successly.
 I know that our cry for "good news" 
is not always answered as clearly or as quickly
as it would seem this prayer of mine was. 
For me there was great reassurance
even as I read the words of the psalm 
and made them my own,
for in so doing I was reminded
in whom it was I placed my trust.
Thus taken back to a place of faith
I knew there would be strength enough to face
whatever would come.
And this, surely,
is the ultimate good news that each of us need.
"Let me hear good news in the morning,
for I trust in you."
God Bless

P.S. The photos are shots of the wild flower meadow in my beloved park as they look today, despite the fact that it is November.  Lots of colour and beauty in the midst of the tangle of what's dying off. - another lesson?

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