Monday, 30 January 2012


Well here we are.
Another Monday morning.

Just now Hubby is in the garden and I'm pottering indoors.

We rub together pretty well on our 24 / 7 existence
given we are two very different temperaments and backgrounds,
but even as we come up to our 50th anniversary this year,
inevitably now and then we clash.

Even when we don't actually clash
I am sometimes really disappointed at my pettiness and inherent selfishness.

It was these shortcomings that played on my mind as I was
walking in the park over the weekend.

The damp pathways were glistening silver at my feet
as the winter sun cleaved the clear air.

As ever when a sunlit way opens before me I remembered 
"The path of the righteous"...

Given that the dictionary definition for "righteous" is, -
"Morally upright; without guilt or sin,
In accordance with virtue or morality"
I saw many more pot holes, 
patches of rubble, and grit,
in my inner-heart pathway 
 than the glowing way of 
"rightness/righteousness" of love,
which I long for.

Even as I acknowledged this lack,
other words,( this time from Mal 4:2 ),
swam into my consciousness.

"But for you who revere My name,
the sun of righteousness will rise with healing in its wings;
and you will go forth and skip about like calves from the stall".
 In a flash I saw how
 looking for rightness of being within myself,
 gets me bogged down
in unproductiveof guilt or regret;
whereas once I am aware of my flaws,
  if I own them,
I can turn quickly
to the source of all love and forgiveness,
which I know as God.

Then, rather than hugging to myself the chill
of self loathing and judgement
I can allow myself to be warmed by the embrace of 
the healing and ever ready love
that given time,
will reflect 
the very sun of righteousness in me.

I don't know about you,
but I quite like the thought of skipping like a calf
newly let out into the open too.

I may not have broken out into a skip
as I continued on my walk,
but my heart was singing a better song.

I hope this week's path will shine under,
and before your feet,
with a beautiful rightness.

P.S.  Blogger publisher is acting up today so the only way I can upload this powerful song called 
"Don't Be Afraid of the Light Wihin You" 
is to ask you to click on this link

Tuesday, 24 January 2012

In My Small Corner

Whenever I am tired or below par
I am tempted to see my life as of very little significance.

The many beautiful, well-crafted  blogs I discover 
as I sit taking my enforced rests with my laptop,
testify that I do not live in an area of outstanding beauty,
have no great scholarship to draw from,
or varied travels and social whirl to report.

As it is there are many days 
when the  boundaries of my life
  lie no further than front and back doors of our home.

Within these confines
  I find such wealth I
 I sometimes feel guilty 
that restlessness comes so rarely
given the multitude of things I have never done;
never seen.
My ego whispers that my life,
(so small),
is wasted, 
with it's hours, days, weeks, months,
in quiet rooms.

I cannot even justify these hours as being 
as prayer-filled and faithful as I would like,
but only as open as I can keep them
to the other,
rather than to the self.  

It is the only path I know,
so Rilke's words come like balm.

 "What should I say about your tendency to doubt your struggle
or to harmonize your inner and outer life?
My wish is ever strong that you find enough patience within you
and enough simplicity to have faith.
May you gain more and more trust in what is challenging,
and confidence in the solitude you bear.
Let life happen to you.
Believe me: life is in the right in any case." 
(Rainer Maria Rilke) Letters to a Young Poet

Be Blessed

Saturday, 21 January 2012

A Weekend Break -(for the week?)

A dull day, damp day, with a rough wind tousling the trees.

Not much doing really.
Can' t drive for a few weeks yet,
and waiting for the bus doesn't appeal in this weather.
So here I am at leisure again,
(rather tired after pushing the post-op. boundaries if truth be told.)

Time to take time then, if I will but learn. 

As if to give me lessons
in letting things take their course,
this streptocarpus leaf, which has been sitting, apparently just idling it's time away 
since I put it in a pot months ago,
has  produced 
these baby leaves.

I guess a weekend can get full of pressure
because of the expectations we have
of how much we can get done in this precious time.

Sometimes we need to take our foot off the gas 
and see what will happen when we let things take their course.

The simple realisation that
we don't have to take it all on our shoulders,
because truly that isn't our job,
can  be the best gift we can give ourselves.

May Your Weekend Be Blessed

Wednesday, 18 January 2012


Don't feel up to visiting 
my beloved park today
so did myself a little sketch of
the winter shapes and colours
I'm missing.

I wonder can you see
the connections between the
two pieces? 

I think trees are planted 
in my 

God Bless

Tuesday, 17 January 2012

The Crystal Garden

I am so delighted we at last have the heathly frosts we need for the
good of the ground and plants that I couldn't resist grabbing the camera to capture the frosty corners of the garden which still lingered at 4 o'clock this afternoon.
 As you can see from these few glimpses, 
I have a garden of two halves.
 In some spots the frost remains while in others it is
"a different country"
as my mother used to say.

For the first time ever I have a helebore niger which has survived to bloom a second year!
  It may not look like much yet but I have high hopes.

 As usual hubby's favourite camellias are in rosy fat bud,
 and just look at that delicious little nib of fuschia colour showing in
the winter drab at the end of the orange/red leaf's stem
These un-prepossessing little shoots peeping through the monbretia leaves are the sweet promise of snowdrops in bud,
while this little frosty garden has high-lighted the lichen 
grown atop our solar lights, 
explaining why even after the sunniest winter's day 
they have yielded no light to navigate the garden by.
Finally, wouldn't these crystal edged leaves
make a lovely design for a piece of jewellery?
Or is it only me?

God  Bless

Monday, 16 January 2012

Rooted in Love

These Tete a Tete daffs sit in a sunless window
adding their little flickers of sunny colour to the dining room.

My brother and niece brought them on their last visit
to "remind" me that I'm Welsh,
as if I need reminding!

I wonder,
is it possible to ever really forget our roots?
I think one of the loveliest things about getting older
is out-growing the notion that we must somehow
become radically different 
from who we were to start with.

 Our circumstances, 
even our parenting, or lack of parenting,
 may have left a lot to be desired,
but it is a sublime grace to grow in understanding
that even these deep griefs and scars
are not beyond healing,
and that after all 

Rumi writes:-
You were born with potential
You were born with goodness and trust
You were born with ideals and dreams 
You were born with greatness
You were born with wings
You are not meant for crawling, so don't
You have wings
Learn to use them and fly!
What better time than a new(ish) year 
to open ourselves to the tender green shoots
of glorious inner certainty

"... that you, being rooted and grounded in love,
 may be able to comprehend with all the saints
what is the breadth and length and height and depth, 
and to know the love of Christ which surpasses knowledge, 
that you may be filled up to all the fullness of God."
Eph 3:17 

Be Blessed

Friday, 13 January 2012

Into the Light

I have been home from hospital for a week and a day,
and I am feeling fine
after having some major repairs
and a full hysterectomy.
There I've said it!
named what used to be the unmentionable
"women's troubles".

Today the morning is beautifully sunny
after the first frost following the warm winter weather,
and so well am I
that I ventured a walk on my own
to skirt the top of the park.

My mind reached ahead of me
to past the walled garden
and the path with the view over the village,
but my body whispered a warning
that I would have to walk the same distance back
so I obediently turned onto a path
which brought me home. 

 Sitting sipping my tea 
I look over at the pinks 
my younger granddaughter Rachel bought me,
and rejoice in
the contrast of 
soft magenta
against the aqua walls.

So many contrasts in life.

This operation and recovery
so different
from the experience
last May.

there was my difficulty with the anaesthetic,
and problems in the recovery room.

This time, the spinal block with no difficulties,
and news of a new general anaesthetic
which should be safe for the future.

Then, months of weakness and incapacity,
now, feeling unbelievably strong and well.

Shadow and light.
Light and shadow

My present recovery and feelings of well being
seem like a sunburst in my spirit
after the fear that I might again
have months of the "non-being" I had previously,
and the anxiety this caused hubby.
And without the strength that grows
as we wait in the dark,
would we be illumined or transformed
by the light?
 Both light and shadow 
are the dance of Love. 
(Rumi )
God Bless

Monday, 2 January 2012

Thoughts for 2012 - or Any Other Year

We may not know what 2012 holds for us,
but this peom by St. Teresa of Avila encourages us to hope
and set our hearts at ease. 

              Nada de turbe
           Nada te espante
            Todo se pasa
           Dios no se muda
               La Paciencia todo lo alcanza
            Quien a Dios tiene
          Nada le falta
           Solo Dios basta

            May nothing disturb you
             May nothing astonish you 
           Everything passes
           God does not go away
            Patience can attain anything
             He who has God within
             Does not lack anything
            God is everything

 It is especially lovely when set to this haunting Taize chant.

Be back after I leave hospital.

God Bless