Friday, 25 May 2012

The Fullness of Promise (Come Holy Spirit)

There it stands in the flower border.

 The bulging buds pushing against their silken sheath.

We are almost persuaded
we could strip away the gossamer wrappings
and bring about the moment of flowering ourselves.

The fine stems,
 packed as precisely as timed fuses,
 warn us we are too clumsy to attempt this unveiling.

What is it within us I wonder,
still lying beneath the surface
(most probably unseen),
 though we feel it's prodding from within
 and know we are not yet complete.

Something not yet birthed,
 deeply part of our longing and our DNA,

We can trust the one who clothes the lily of the field
 to hold us
 and unfold us
to our ripe potentiality
with the sure touch of creation.

Lk. 24: 49     I am going to send you what my Father has promised... Acts 1:8 will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes upon you.

On this Pentecost weekend 
may the Holy Spirit
 light the fire of our being to new wholeness 
and a fuller flowering of life.

 Veni Sancte Spiritus/ Come Holy Spirit

 Come from the four winds, O Spirit, come breath of God;
     Disperse the shadows over us, Renew and strengthen Your people.
 Veni Sancte Spiritus
 Father of the poor come to our poverty. 
  Shower upon us the seven gifts of Your grace. 
    Be the light of our lives, oh come,
 Veni Sancte Spiritus
You are our only comforter, Peace of the soul. 
    In the heat You shade us, in our labour You refresh us, 
    And in trouble You are our strength.
 Veni Sancte Spiritus.
 Kindle in our hearts the flame of Your love, That in the darkness of the world,
     It may glow and reach to all forever.
 Veni Sancte Spiritus 

To listen to the words of the Veni Sancte Spiritus sung as only Taize can,  click on this You Tube link.

Monday, 21 May 2012

Try a Little Tenderness

Just to report on re-programming my life
 a bit during what is proving to be a slightly difficult time for me. 

The hairdresser did a good job and I left feeling like myself, 
not like Danny La Rue, (an English drag act)
 which I always fear I will after a hair styling. 
 So part one of picking myself up went well.

Next, due to my bouts of weakness at the moment, 
I decided I need to ease up where I can,
 and asked my granddaughter to come 
and do my hoovering today.
Doesn't sound huge does it, but quite a revolution for me to
 a) let up on myself and make things easier, and
 b) feel I can bother somebody else with my needs; 
all be it the person in question loves me.

Also, over the weekend
 I began to look for new living room sofa and chairs,
 after admitting I no longer want to sit in a chair
 which is quite sound,
( and therefore functionally doesn't need re-placing),
 but which I find really uncomfortable. 
 Again this may not sound ground breaking,
 but when your measure for spending is
 "need" not "want" as mine is, 
this is mega!

Basically I am trying to be a little kinder to myself.
Hope you are doing the same.
After all the second part of the great commandment
 and law of love is 
 'You shall love your neighbour as yourself.' 
(NAS, Mark 12:28-31).

Oh, and today after weeks of grey, wet weather,
 when the world just looked dark and colourless, 
the sun came out.

Be Blessed

Wednesday, 16 May 2012

Burnt Out but Still Smouldering!

 This morning I was awoken by noise akin to couple of football rattles being twirled non-stop under my window.
 (Click the link under the photo to get a flavour 
of what a rude awakening I'd had.)

Peering bleary eyed around the curtains
 I saw two magpies harassing next door's cat.
They were clearly having a good time
 and not likely to quit on my behalf
 so I slammed the window shut, 
but even through the double glazing
 I could hear the rumpus continue.

Flopping back on my pillows I reflected how the harsh din
 seems to chime with how I have been feeling of late.

 I am feeling burnt out again:
exhausted from a stint of  "doing too much",
then un-surprisingly going down with some sort of virus,
so everything seems more than I can take.
I am low-spirited and tearful, 

 longing to crawl away somewhere and be cosseted, shielded, 
and just plain taken care of.  

Good as hubby is, when all's said and done though it's
 I who have to learn to take better care of myself.
You see I was nurtured and programmed to be a
 care-giver and not a care-taker
 Well not of myself anyway.

In my time I have worked as a counsellor,
so I know about taking care of myself,
saying no,
 boundaries, etc.
but I realised this morning that I have still been operating on a model meant for somebody 
at least twenty years younger than I am right now.

Those raucous birds under my window
 had somehow brought me to face the fact
 that I need to stop having such unrealistic expectations of myself, and that the clashing discord wearing me down inside 
is a message to me to cut myself some slack.

The words of one of my favourite psalms flashed into my mind.

Psalm 131

A song of ascents. Of David.

My heart is not proud, Lord,
    my eyes are not haughty;
I do not concern myself with great matters
    or things too wonderful for me.
But I have calmed and quieted myself,
    I am like a weaned child with its mother;
    like a weaned child I am content.
Israel, put your hope in the Lord
    both now and forevermore.

I have to face the fact,
things I used to take in my stride feels like a "great matter" to me.
Two major surgeries in the last year;
a birthday last week that was one over the biblical limit...
Time to take stock.

Knowing my propensity to over-think,
 which just gets me more stuck,
I am starting
 with something superficial;
a visit to the hairdresser,
which I usually hate because
 I always come away feeling like somebody else,
(see I've started thinking again!)
 Maybe this time I will just feel
 kick-started into being
 a whole new woman.

I'll  let you know how my re-programming goes.

Be Blessed