"He showed me something small, no bigger than a hazelnut,...
I thought: What can this be? I was amazed that it could last,...I thought because of its littleness, it would suddenly have fallen into nothing. ,...
It lasts and always will, because God loves it; and thus everything has being through the love of God."
Julian of Norwich
Friday, 13 January 2012
Into the Light
I have been home from hospital for a week and a day,
and I am feeling fine
after having some major repairs
and a full hysterectomy.
There I've said it!
named what used to be the unmentionable
Today the morning is beautifully sunny
after the first frost following the warm winter weather,
and so well am I
that I ventured a walk on my own
to skirt the top of the park.
My mind reached ahead of me
to past the walled garden
and the path with the view over the village,
but my body whispered a warning
that I would have to walk the same distance back
so I obediently turned onto a path
which brought me home.
Sitting sipping my tea
I look over at the pinks
my younger granddaughter Rachel bought me,
and rejoice in
the contrast of soft magenta
against the aqua walls.
So many contrasts in life.
This operation and recovery
so different from the experience
there was my difficulty with the anaesthetic,
and problems in the recovery room.
This time, the spinal block with no difficulties,
and news of a new general anaesthetic
which should be safe for the future.
Then, months of weakness and incapacity,
now, feeling unbelievably strong and well.
Shadow and light. Light and shadow
My present recovery and feelings of well being
seem like a sunburst in my spirit
after the fear that I might again have months of the "non-being" I had previously,
and the anxiety this caused hubby. But...
And without the strength that grows as we wait in the dark,