A Weight of Glory

Don't know how to say this, but over the last few months I've been aware of
 a weight of glory.

It isn't that my life has been easier.

There have been upsets and worries, and things just plain going wrong as usual.

You will know as well as I do the world news has not become any more reassuring.

There are wars, rumours of wars, famines and pestilence.

It isn't that I have been aware of any change for the better in my own disposition.

I haven't become nicer, more tolerant, even tempered, or suddenly "good".

I would still like to shut my eyes and stuff my fingers in my ears

to shut out the amount of suffering there is.

Unreasonably, permeating all this I have become increasingly aware

 of an unremitting refrain of what I can only call Glory.

In those moments when my brain in on "idle", 

 (and some would say there are many such moments), the words,

 "Glory! Glory! Glory!" sing away.

The trip switch isn't solely those predictable ones,

 such as looking into my great grandson's beautiful face, 

listening to my great granddaughter's sing song baby words, 

or kissing the sweet smelling space at the nape of her neck.

No, it's something unexpected, creeping up on me when I least expect it.

In a strange city, in a strange country,

an enterprising drinker begging for any coins we can be persuaded to part with,

and there it is again,

Glory! Glory! Glory!

Feeling exhausted and ill.

So much I want to do which my body refuses,

Glory! Glory! Glory!

Quietly persistent, beyond my motivation or disposition,

Glory! Glory! Glory!

In a crowded pub, too hot, too crushed,

 listening to friends litany of grumbles about their family.

Glory! Glory! Glory!

You may well come to the conclusion I've lost the plot,

finally cracked.

The saying there´s a crack in everything, that's how the light gets in ...

comes to mind, and I look it up.

To my surprise I find a Leonard Cohen song on You tube  which about sums it all up.

You probably know it but I didn't.

(Yes I am out of touch!)

The line that resonates is

"Forget your perfect offering..."

For so long I wanted,
 tried so hard to be,
 or to bring,
 that "perfect offering".

I know at last I will never be a perfect anything, 

but I can bow before life and receive the gift of it with open hands 

so I keep as little of it back for myself as grace allows.

Glory! Glory! Glory!

Be Blessed