Tuesday, 14 February 2012

On Being a Contemplative

 
 Proverbs 25:11

"A word at the right time is like apples of gold 
in a network of silver."




Yesterday  I had a breakthrough.
 
It was one  of those epiphany moments
 when something you have known your whole life,
which others have told you
 so that on one level
 you accept the truth of it,
yet at another,
 push away from yourself 
with a sort of 
"but how can these things be"  feeling;
 (but without the humility).

My then spiritual director's voice 
comes to me from 
 years back as I write.

" I think your problem is 
you have never truly accepted
 you are a contemplative."

Well how right she was.  

More accurately perhaps 
I did not know exactly what 
"being a contemplative"
 meant.

Then yesterday reading the wonderful
(yes, I'm directing you there again.
"Updating Embracing The Leper" post,
 the part in green writing ),
the penny dropped.
This was my "word at the right time".

I suddenly saw that,
"being a contemplative"
 simply means seeing the Beloved,
(the Absolute,
the Divine,
God,...)

EVERYWHERE

IN ALL THINGS 
THROUGHOUT ALL THINGS

TO KNOW THAT ALL IS ONE

AND THAT THIS IS NOT A BETRAYAL OF MY FAITH,
(which some deep part of me 
has so feared)
BUT RATHER,
 IT'S CONSUMMATION. 

If  you could know 
the religious boxes
 I have tried to fit into;
(I who know only too well 
that God is beyond
 any formula),
you would surely know
 what a fool I am;
how incredibly slow to learn;
yet how faithfully,
patiently,
surely,
 yet loosely,
 the Beloved has held me,
and led me.

If none of this makes sense to you,
or seems applicable to you,
at least do take this for yourself.

 Just as faithfully,
as patiently, 
as trusting in the power
 of his/her  own grace,
and of you,
(for that is what
 this loose holding of us means),
is the love that holds you,
now and always.

What a true Valentine!