"He showed me something small, no bigger than a hazelnut,...
I thought: What can this be? I was amazed that it could last,...I thought because of its littleness, it would suddenly have fallen into nothing. ,...
It lasts and always will, because God loves it; and thus everything has being through the love of God."
Julian of Norwich
Thursday, 12 December 2013
Looking for Still Waters
Abbey Fields, Kenilworth
When I started to write
"Let There be Light"
as my blog post,
I did so partly to leave a record for my family.
I wanted them to know something of my life
they might otherwise never really know.
About what it was that had made me the person I am.
And, yes, I wanted them to know how much my story,
even my being around for them,
had been dependent on God's intervention.
Just before I began to put the words together in any organised way,
I was asked to speak about some of my experiences of God, at a small meeting.
Usually when I speak it is to preach,
and although many people know I was wonderfully healed few know the details,
so I was surprised to find myself at this meeting,
sharing more than I had ever done before.
I was surprised at the impact made by what I told of God's light pouring into my life.
The response came because I had been ready to make myself vulnerable in a new way.
It made me wonder what writing things down would truly entail.
As I began to write, it seemed at first to flow easily enough.
I thought I would be able to do it much as I do my painting,
and fit it in and around the other priorities of my life, posting as I wrote.
It hasn't turned out like that.
I can see now I was foolish to think it would.
As things come flooding back I find it really is
time to speak about the inner journey with God,
and not simply the physical manifestation of healing.
This is not a thing I find easy to do.
There is an intimacy in God's dealings with each one of us
which requires wisdom and delicacy to reveal
. It needs stillness and waiting on God
to find words to approximate the truth.
Rather than squeezing moments here and there, as I have tried to do,
I now know I must set aside a specific time to listen, remember,
and write honestly and without flowery language or super spirituality.
I don't know yet how I can or will do that.
I simply know that I must try.
Lower Ladyes Hill, Kenilworth
With the Christmas season ahead life is due to get busy for us all.
I have sermons to prepare, worship practices to fit in, shopping and homey things,
and the small matter of a new great grand child, just moments up the road,
due on Boxing Day,
while there is a much loved big brother- in -waiting to be thoroughly played with
and enjoyed as we wait.
I know you have much to do too.
Though there may well be a post or two before that,
but after the holidays I will be looking for a space to reflect and take up