"He showed me something small, no bigger than a hazelnut,...
I thought: What can this be? I was amazed that it could last,...I thought because of its littleness, it would suddenly have fallen into nothing. ,...
It lasts and always will, because God loves it; and thus everything has being through the love of God."
Julian of Norwich
Sunday, 25 November 2012
Doorways are a constant source of fascination for me;
especially if they are as characterful as this one.
Don't you just long to know what lies behind it?
The creeper curtaining the door suggests that it is
not used all that frequently,
However you can never judge the importance of a door by
how often it is used..
The front door of my uncle's farm was
never opened when I was a child,
and then one day some relatives I had never even heard of
arrived to take tea
and the door I had imagined as permanently shut
was opened to usher them in.
The moment I realised it was the main entrance to the house
the whole layout of the house made a lot more sense,
Until then I had only ever thought of the farmhouse
as a large kitchen with bedrooms above.
The parlour door which,
like the front door was newly opened for me on
the day of "the visit",
was uncharted territory where a lacy tablecloth, thin china,
and dainty cake,
were a world away from the scrub topped table,
chunky crockery, and slab cake
of our everyday tea time.
In all honesty I loved the warmth and bustle of the kitchen,
and found the stiff primness of the best room,
for all it's pretty effects,
not to my liking at all.
Still, it was intriguing to have seen
two new doors opened in one day,
and I'm glad I got to see inside the parlour
even if it was only that one time.
(Children were not allowed the freedom then that they are now,
and I would never have dared enter it without permission.)
It has mostly been my habit to go through as many new doors
that offer themselves to me as I can.
Because I've never had a plan or any particular goal in life
other than to do the best I can at whatever turns up,
I confess I've never plotted a path to any particular door,
and the ones which came my way have always been
scary in one way or another:
(new things always are),
but I've always gone through.
Sometimes I've lingered just long enough to see
what was on the other side wasn't for me,
but I've just had to explore the possibility first.
Now I come to think of it there was one door
I did plotto get to,
and found really scary too,
even though it was my choice that took me there.
I was about nine or ten years old
and decided I wanted to learn to play the piano
so I found a teacher,
knocked on her door and asked the price of lessons
before presenting my mother with all the details
and asking for the funds!
I loved those lessons,
but had to run the gauntlet of a vicious little terrier
who used to sink his teeth into my music case and swing on it for the last few yards of my journey to the door for every lesson.
I was always convinced one day it was going to be
my leg that he latched on to,
but it never was.
Now here I am so many years later
still expecting more doors to open
and still finding there are.
Now I haven't got the time I previously did
I have begun to look for doors that attract me.
Being a person who can live quite happily in my head
I have recently sought out active things.
A creative workshop attached to the theatre,
and yes, a Zumba Gold class, because
you are never too old to shake your booty!
( The class I go to doesn't have wall mirrors
so we are not put off by seeing what we look like,
and it has high windows so nobody else can look in and get put off either.)
Each of these ventures has led on to other things
not to mention new friendships.
Oh, and we are exploring getting a piano
so that I can begin to play again after all these years.
I wonder what new doors await you at the moment?
Are you expectant,
or have you given up I wonder?
One thing is for sure each new moment is new.
I forget who it was that said
"Man is not a fixed datum",
but it is a truly Christian viewpoint.
Is. 43:19 says,"Behold, I am doing a new thing;
now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland."