‘Nothing in the whole of creation

 so resembles God as silence’.

Today at church on this first Sunday of Lent the sermon was on the suplication and silence of prayer, 

and the words above were used in speaking on

 the "silence" part.

Now I had heard or read

 the words of Meister Eckhart before,

 and sometimes the word "stillness" is used in place of "silence",

but today the words broke over me as an epiphany 

and I saw how amazingly I have been blessed.

Firstly I have been forced to lead a life of much literal stillness.

Often ill as a child, then in my teens

 spending two years in bed, 

mostly lying flat on my back

 with no outside stimulus at all except the radio.

(Those were the good old days of earphones hanging 

on the bed head of each hospital bed, and reading,

 even for a bibliophile like me,

 is hard work when you have to hold the book 

above your head. 

 Your arms soon give out!)

I have long known and appreciated 

those two years as my grounding in silence,

and beginning to recognise and face my own demons,

 but today the knowledge hit me 

like a tidal wave of joy.

How privileged am I not to have faced 

the overwhelming temptation which comes with being

 strong enough to go after 

every ambition I believed myself capable of;

or every distraction that attracted me.

Sure, it was lonely.

As has often been said though

 there is loneliness and there is solitude,

and I guess I was adapted to the solitude despite myself,

and it became a rich, deep, place of second nature. 

When so many of my friends and loved ones

 struggle 

with their over-busy lives

and yet cannot bring themselves 

to let go of anything

in order

 to have a little time to be still

 I ache for them. 

*

Perhaps the world needs a Lenten period 

of seeking silence

 more than it knows.

Even if it were a non- religious 40 days,

I wonder what it would yield,

that few minutes here or there sinking into silence.

Not easy at first I know,

 still it might well become a habit, and 

then where would we be?

More thoughts on this next time perhaps.

 In the mean time

 if there is something which you can see no sense in,

something hard in your life at present,

I pray that a time might come 

when you will see a harvest of richness and joy from it,

much as I saw anew out of mine today.

Be Blessed

Lenten Joy

It is the custom to empty the church of flowers

 during the period of lent

so as we were leaving after the Ash Wednesday service 

which I commented on in my previous post,

a friend was taking away the beautiful arrangements

 of spring flowers

 which had decorated the church up 'til then.

She generously gave me this earthenware pot of tulips. 

Before going to church I'd said to hubby that

 when we came back I would need 

to buckle down and get some housework done. 

Instead I couldn't wait to grab whatever materials 

I could lay my hands on,

(without actually tidying anything in the studio,)

and escape the chaos and the cold in there

to spend a few happy hours in the dining room.

Just me and the tulips.

This mirrors something of the Lenten season. 

At one and the same moment 

solemn and refective 

as we remember the path to the cross,

whilst threaded through with the

joyous freedom

 of it's outcome.

(I caught up with the housework today!)

Be Blessed

Today we were at the morning communion for Ash Wednesday,

and as the black cross of ash and oil 

was traced on my forehead

 and the words

 "Remember you are dust and to dust you will return"

were spoken over me

 I remembered the cross on the prairie in Minnesota where I stayed in a hermitage three years ago.

I remembered lying face down before the cross.

The earth was hard and cold,

the grasses winter-seared and harsh;

yet I, who hate the cold,
and love my comfort,
was overwhelmed with the deepest sense of peace.

It felt like the sweetest resting place.
Like coming home.

Be Blessed

Getting Back to "Normal"

 I haven't painted since I was in hospital 6 weeks ago, 

and have barely picked up a pencil either,

 but yesterday my oldest granddaughter came round 

and chose a painting for her flat.

Going into the chaotic studio with Rebecca

 so that she could choose a painting, 

some how stirred up the creative juices so this morning

 found me standing in the cold studio in my dressing gown, 

loosing all track of time 

to start re-working a canvas.

Maybe this weekend

 will find you re-awakening a passion that been lying dormant, 

or even discovering a new one.

Be Blessed

On Being a Contemplative

 

 Proverbs 25:11

"A word at the right time is like apples of gold 

in a network of silver."

Yesterday  I had a breakthrough.

 

It was one  of those epiphany moments

 when something you have known your whole life,

which others have told you

 so that on one level

 you accept the truth of it,

yet at another,
 push away from yourself 

with a sort of 

"but how can these things be"  feeling;

 (but without the humility).

My then spiritual director's voice 
comes to me from 

 years back as I write.

" I think your problem is 

you have never truly accepted

 you are a contemplative."

Well how right she was.  

More accurately perhaps 

I did not know exactly what 

"being a contemplative"

 meant.

Then yesterday reading the wonderful

http://blueeyedennis-siempre.blogspot.com/

(yes, I'm directing you there again.

"Updating Embracing The Leper" post,
 the part in green writing ),

the penny dropped.
This was my "word at the right time".

I suddenly saw that,

"being a contemplative"

 simply means seeing the Beloved,

(the Absolute,

the Divine,

God,...)

EVERYWHERE

IN ALL THINGS 

THROUGHOUT ALL THINGS

TO KNOW THAT ALL IS ONE

AND THAT THIS IS NOT A BETRAYAL OF MY FAITH,

(which some deep part of me 

has so feared)

BUT RATHER,

 IT'S CONSUMMATION. 

If  you could know 

the religious boxes

 I have tried to fit into;

(I who know only too well 

that God is beyond

 any formula),

you would surely know

 what a fool I am;

how incredibly slow to learn;

yet how faithfully,

patiently,

surely,
 yet loosely,

 the Beloved has held me,

and led me.

If none of this makes sense to you,

or seems applicable to you,

at least do take this for yourself.

 Just as faithfully,

as patiently, 

as trusting in the power

 of his/her  own grace,

and of you,

(for that is what

 this loose holding of us means),

is the love that holds you,

now and always.

What a true Valentine!

BE BLESSED